Aging

Hi Dance & Gravity.

So lately I always think about why people are so stressed out about getting old. Why people think that 'aging' is like a nightmare? Well, I think about it too.(Guilty). Yes, it freaked me out everytime I realized that I am getting older. Of course I hate feeling that way because millions of people in the world who are 30 plus or 40 plus or older than me would do anything to be in my place right now and be in mid 20s. I find it very disturbing that I am not even 30 yet but the way i stressed out about getting old as if I am already menopause. Oh lord. 

I did a lot of thinking these past couple of weeks. I had a lot of free time since I am jobless and no longer a student. So i read a lot of articles about this little 'issue' and started to realized that it is not really that bad after all. I swear this is not me trying to make me feel better about myself. Well, sorta! But what i realized is actually the truth about aging and there are lots of benefits about getting older.

Why do people complaining of getting older? Yes it is true that we are no longer energetic like we used to. We don't have that much energy compared to when we were teenagers. Everything in this life have its pros and cons. I don't think I need to lecture on the cons since its gonna be more stressful right? Lets just focus on some of the good things about it.

As you get older, deep down you know that you have become wiser, thanks to your experiences and all the mistakes that you did before. You learnt from your mistakes and you become a better person. Bolder, smarter and wiser since you already know what to do and what to avoid. Well, not everything but you are wise enough not to repeat the same mistakes again. You know the consequences of doing or acting certain things after facing it before. So as you get older, I believe that you have more experiences and more life lesson based on the mistakes. Don't tell me that all this while, you never make a mistake that you wish you never did it in the first place. I have my mistakes too and I will try my best not to repeat it again. Right now you know how to handle certain problems since you have faced it many times before. Hey it makes your life much better when you know how to handle certain aspects in your life right? 

Another thing is, aging makes you realized who you are as a person. It happened without you realizing it. Suddenly you realized that you're not that crazy about certain things that you used to be crazy about. You don't really feel the pressure to fit in with some people. You do your own shit and you don't really care if its the 'in thing' or not. Be it about the things that you like such as music, fashion, lifestyle and even life decisions. You just do it. I like being a teenager before. It was a fun phase but to tell the truth, I was so confused back then. I tend to follow what others did and I don't know who I really am. But right now, whatever it is about me, it is all me and it has nothing to do with 'trying to fit in'. You're not that confuse anymore. You are comfortable in your own skin and you accept certain things that are beyond your control and make peace with it.

I started to think all about it after I saw a photo of an old man wearing a shirt that says "10 years old with 60 years of experience". You do the math! Haha! I think that's cute. Not being a denial but it is the truth. Gaining experience is not only in the workplace. Its about gaining life experience too. Old people are fascinating as their wrinkles tells a story. Don't you ever look at some old people, like really old people and started to wonder that they sure have a lot of experiences and a lot of things to tell about this life. Don't you just want to talk to them and explore about their life when they were young? 

When I watched Titanic, the part when the old woman (Rose) tells the story about her life with Jack and Titanic, it moves me. I wanted to do that when I am old. I want to have something to share about my life and the lessons that I've learnt with other young people. Of course I cannot do that if i keep living in the past. It is true that age is just a number because the things that you need to be highlight for every time you become older are all the things that you have learnt in that year. And for the next year, you will try to become a better person. 

As for me, this year has taught me a lot. Lesson learnt i guess. When I looked back at my life, I've learnt a lot from my mistakes. Being 15 was fun. BUT naive. I am not saying that I am all prepared for the future. But i can tell that I am much wiser than before as I have stopped doing certain negative things in my life and I've never been happier. Lets just sit back and watch our life unfold itself because the more you deny the fact that you're getting older every year, the more you look pathetic. Accept it. Embrace it. Enjoy it. How old are you now? 25? 26? Next year you won't be that age anymore. Gulp! Better live it now before its too late! :)

P/s: You gotta admit that it is funny how you become easily exhausted lately compared to when you were young. Even the topic of your discussions among your family and friends have changed. Laugh it out.

Till then,

-WANIE-

Campurization

Hey blog. Its been a while. So I did said that i wanna blog in English because i want to improve my english and use this language as many times as I can. But all this while i know that writing in Bahasa is way better for me as it can explain exactly what i wanted to say. You know what I mean? So do you mind if I mix both language when I blog after this? To be honest, when I communicate or write before this, I always mixed both of that languages. It becomes a habit. But I seriously need to improve my English. I know its getting worse. Maybe I can blog more after this if i use Bahasa? Hope so. 

This blog will be an example of 'Campurization Language'. You've been warned. 

Till then,

-WANIE- 

Advice from a friend

I always know that there are two types of friends. First, the one that you can share laughter with and the second one is very rare. The one that you feel comfortable to share your problem and even cry in front of them. I have both but of course I wont tell which one is which. But today a friend of mine shared one advice with me. I mean, it was spontaneous. I have no idea why i suddenly feel like I wanna share my problem with that person. It happened before my brain could process what I said.

I know that people give me all kind of advices but that doesn't mean that I have to follow it. Some of my friends gave an advice to me which I think its not good for me therefore I rejected it. But there are times when i know, I just know when my friend gave me a sincere advice and the kind of advice that I can hold on to for years. Maybe forever. The kind of advice that makes me feel better. The kind of advice that makes me feel normal again. The kind of advice that makes me feel like everything is okay. For a friend like this, i appreciate them more than anything.

As for today, I have no idea that person will share some word of wisdom with me. I burst out crying because I am touched for the fact that there are people out there who doesn't think of my life as weird. I am thankful for having that person in my life although we are not that close. But when a friend share a good advice with me, I will always remember it. Forever. It helps me to get through the day when I feel like everything is wrong. To be honest, these type of friend that always lifted me up is the one that think of my life as the way it should be and they said that the society is the problem. There's nothing wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with my life. Well, thank you. You have no idea how much I am touched with those words. God bless you friend. Do keep in touch. 

Till then,

-WANIE- 

Present

People always said that it is important to live the present. But it doesn't mean that we dont have to think at all about the future. We do have to prepare for the future too but stressing too much about it wont make any differences. Same goes to dealing with the past. It doesn't mean that we need to totally forget the past. The past make us who we are today. There are times when we do have to wrap ourselves in the past so that we know we do have some memories about our life. 

As for me, I have a feeling that lately i finally managed to focus on the present. I can pretty much say that this is me and this is going with the flow at its finest. I do think about the future but not as much as i used too. I like to think of it as a surprise. I like to think of the future as something that i look forward to but at the same time i am enjoying the present. That is why it is called present. Its a gift. 

There's a saying that no matter how much guilt you feel, you can never change the past and no matter how much worries you feel, you can never predict the future so why stress out? I am unfolding a day at one time. Slowly. If something good will happen, it will happen eventually. If something bad will happen, who am i to say no to that. To be honest, if we really believe in god, there's nothing we should feel scared of. I know that people might say it is easier said than done but deep down i know that i am going with the flow now. I am paranoid. Still. But i have let go a lot of things that i hold on to. Im letting it go doesnt mean i didnt hold it at all. I'm losing it and not holding it as tight as i used to. If it belongs to me, it will. If my dreams will come true, it will. So yeah. I am basically holding it. Not that hard. Only god knows what i am hoping for. As for now, i am enjoying the present. Whatever it might be. 

Till then,

-WANIE-

Hi. Hey.

Picture was taken back in 1989. I think. I was 2 years old and as you can see, I am like any other little girls out there. I played with doll because I am a girl. But this was years ago. I am turning 26 soon and I kind of feel like  a phase just ended. To start a new phase, I would love to start a new blog because I have changed so much for the past few years and I have so many things to say. This blog is not just about my life. I like it if my blog can make other people feel like they are not alone. I believe in the power of writing. Few blogs saved my life before and the writers are my saviour. I am serious.

So lets start. Hi there. Thank you for viewing my blog. I am not sure whether you're gonna love my writings or not but I write because of me. And if people love it, well then its a bonus. You dance when you're happy and you fall because of the gravity. Both of it makes life very interesting. What's not to like about life?And you have to know that English is not my primary language. Sorry in advance if my English is really bad. The reason why I want to blog in English is for me to pratice and maybe improve from time to time. This kid is still learning so cut her some slack will ya? I guess before I start blogging more, there are few things about me that I would like to share it with you.

My favourite quote is by Mahatma Gandhi. "Be the change you wish to see in the world." I love to be surrounded with people that accept others for who they are. I don't like it when people judge me so I will try my best not to judge others as well. 

My family will always be my first priority. Some people don't understand why I always want to obey my parents and I have no intention at all to explain anything to them. If I explain why I did certain things to people, I feel like I am their property. Which I am not. So I'd rather stay silent and let them say whatever they want about it when the truth is they know nothing.

I always believe that to understand people, you have to walk a mile in their shoes. The reason why we must try not to judge others as we don't know their story. Assuming and judging will only make us look stupid and selfish. 

I don't know what kind of a person I am. So if I don't know, i don't listen to what other people say about me. If I dont know who I am, how can they? I feel like its a waste of time if we put too much effort on trying to figure out who we are as a person. We just have to go with the flow. At least by having some principals and holding on to something, then you are okay.

I am a foodie. Just say anything. Italian, Indian, Malaysian, American, Indonesian foods, I love all of it. I gained weight for the past few months. But never mind. I will start dieting tomorrow. Hmmm biggest lie for every women. 

I am a wanderlust. I would like to see the world. Most of the time, I feel like there are so many things out there that I haven't see and I am a bit paranoid that I won't get the chance to see all of it. Well, its impossible to see everything but of course I wanna get out for a while from my life and see the world. So many things that I want to explore and I hope my dreams will come true.

Okay I think its enough for now. If i spill out everything in one post, there will be no more surprises. Its something for me to know and for you to find out. Or not. Whatever. 

Till then.

-WANIE-